Crazy and Radical

I'm behind on so many fronts that I don't even want to think about it.  This blog is one of them.  But I'm entering a new season...both in this year and in my life.  The last 6 months or so have just been yucky.  Not "I'm homeless with no family and everyone I know is deathly ill that I should even have anything to complain about" yucky but more like "Satan is really attacking me where I live and I can't quite seem to drag myself out from under the bus I'm driving to get myself back to where God wants me" kind of yucky.  But just like His grace is new every morning, the sights and sounds of spring always seem to awaken a new day in me.

Another thing that is waking my lazy behind up is some great reading I've been doing.  I know these two books were so last year's best sellers but those who know me know that I am definitely not that one who will be reading the latest release, if I'm reading anything at all so this is really about par for me.

I just finished reading, "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan.  Great reminder of what the kind of Christ we are trying to be like really looks like.  Such a motivator.  One of my favorite passages:

I wrote this book because much of our talk doesn't match our lives.  We say things like, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," and "Trust in the Lord with all your hear."  The we live and plan like we don't believe God even exists.  We try to set our lives up so everything will be fine even if God doesn't come through.  But true faith means holding nothing back.  It meas putting every hope in God's fidelity to His promises.

I just started David Platt's, "Radical:  Taking Back Your Faith From the American Dream."  So far it has been great, but I'm only on page 34.

Giving.

It has been a long time and I am delinquent.  I have no excuses.  I've just not felt like I've had any great gifts of wisdom lately nor have I read any anywhere else.  My cup has been pretty dry lately.  And mostly because of me.  But I ran across this great post from a blog I've started following.  Giving has really been on my mind lately.  I'm like everyone else.  I never have extra money.  It seems like every month is a tight struggle and I never get ahead.  But I also feel the overwhelming desire to help others, give what I have, etc.  That is hard to do and feel like you are meeting your responsibilities as well.  I really like this family.  I like their blog.  I love their commitment to serve the Lord and others and I like this recent post on giving.  Enjoy.

http://allthingshendrick.blogspot.com/2011/12/keller.html

Looking up!

Wow! James MacDonald had a good one this week in his Walk in the Word series. He reminds us that when the church began it was about praise. It was about recognizing the greatness of God and the fame of God's Son. He makes a good point that we spend so much time in our churches trying to understand and cater to its followers that we forget why we have come.

Here is the full article. Check out Walkintheword.com for more.

Look Up

...¹⁷ so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, ¹⁸ may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, ¹⁹ and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. ²⁰ Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, ²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. —Ephesians 3:17-21

The other day I had on my desk 30 recent books written about the church of Jesus Christ. One word describes them all: Horizontal. Pretty covers, catchy titles—one theme. They are filled with practical counsel: How to understand your audience, how to impact the people around you, how to influence them, how to win them, how to assimilate them; what they need, what they want, what we think, what they think. And yet, most of them are based on a fatal flaw: They have reduced the Church of Jesus Christ to a man-centered, human-needs-driven, manipulate-able organization—a horizontal thing.

Here's a word you need to have at the forefront of your thinking: vertical. Somehow we've lost this in the church. We’ve replaced the Biblical idea of the church with the idea that the church is supposed to be about the horizontal—about us.

Before the purpose of the Church was ever soteriological (about salvation), it was doxological (about praise). Ephesians 3:20 says: "To Him be glory in the Church through Jesus Christ now and forever more." Everything we do has to resound with the fame of the name of God's Son. When that happens, everything else falls into place. Evangelism, discipleship, community impact, ministries of compassion, these things are by-products of a church that is passionately consumed with the glory of God. Vertical is a powerful concept that you need to have at the forefront of your thinking about the work of the Church of Jesus Christ.

The best reasons to be fully engaged in your church won’t be found by looking around, but by looking up! We begin obeying Christ by applying the great commandment to love God—the summary of the vertical relationship (see Mark 12:28-31). When we’ve got that clear, we can tackle the loving neighbor, horizontal thing. Let’s keep the two commands clear and in proper sequence! That’s vertical church. Look up!

So far behind...

Well, I've done a terrible job adding thought to this blog this summer. I have a bag of excuses but that doesn't change the fact that I've been neglectful! This really isn't a post from me, but I wanted to share something sent to me by someone else. I usually don't copy/paste from other sites because I want to send you to their site so they can get credit, but I couldn't find this post online anymore. It was sent to me in an email. But if you want to visit their site for future goodies, go to http://www.mydailyinsights.com/

Here is the good lesson for the day (or probably month at the rate I'm going):

DOG LESSONS

By Jo Ann Brown

It is amazing to me how God communicates certain lessons. Apparently, I must not listen in a traditional way because He always seems to use nature, my children, or my dogs to teach me things about myself.

As I was walking my dog, Chelsea, today, I noticed she was worse than usual about pulling. She was practically choking herself. She has a 25-foot leash that allows her 25 feet in just about any direction to enjoy without feeling uncomfortable. However, Chelsea seemed to always want to pull the leash as tightly as possible to get to the next "spot" in the road. Keep in mind that we are walking that direction and will be at that "spot" in just a matter of minutes.

Chelsea was so busy looking at the next place, the next moment that she failed to enjoy the place where she was. With 25 feet in any direction, she could only concentrate on the one foot that she could not reach in front of her. All the while we were moving forward, she wanted to be someplace different, further ahead. Her eyes were always one step further than where we were.

When I thought about how ridiculous she was, I realized how ridiculous I am as well. God has been trying to teach me to enjoy the moment while continuing to move forward. Why do I practically choke myself to get to the next place that I fail to enjoy the beauty of the place where I am. As long as I am moving forward, why can't I enjoy the trip?

I made a decision to enjoy things I usually would take for granted. That day, I found myself enjoying even the small things in my life more. I did not just take a shower that day thinking about what I needed to do during my day. I enjoyed my shower, thought about the warm water and how grateful I was that in our country I could take a shower anytime I want. That was probably the best shower I have had in a long time.

I can honestly tell you that I experienced more pleasure from everyday chores than I can ever remember. What a wonderful lesson I learned from my sweet Chelsea. I pray that I can continue to enjoy the place where I am, while continuing to move forward to the place I want to be.

So much joy can lie in the journey if I can be content with where I am and not continually pull to be where I am not quite ready to be. I wish I could say that Chelsea learned her lesson but that would be a lie. She still kills herself to get to that next place in the pavement when everything she needs is right under her nose.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Jo Ann Brown is an MDI subscriber and the mother of two wonderful teens, Brian and Danny and two dogs, Lucky and Chelsea. She can be reached at blessedwtwoboys@yahoo.com

Oaks of Righteousness

This won't be long but I wanted to share this thought. I was reading the Upper Room today - not the one that always used to sit on the back of my grandmother's toilet - but the one I receive, freely, everyday in my email inbox. It has the same words as the one on the back of the toilet, just in a more "in my face" fashion. I don't read it everyday, but I'm glad I did today.

The scripture selection was from Isaiah 61:1-3 ESV:

The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me,because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD,that he may be glorified.

You can read the companion commentary to this online at http://www.upperroom.org/devotional/default.asp?month=6&day=7&year=2011 It is called "Beauty for Ashes".

As for my commentary on this verse, I'll say I found encouragement. I also found that I can be both things here. Isaiah is saying he has come to bring good news because there are people that are hurting or burdened or worn out that need to hear it. He also says he's doing this so they can have gladness instead of mourning, praise instead of a faint spirit. And the final outcome is, that because of their transformed spirit, they will be oaks of righteousness showing off the glory of God.

I've had lots of times when I needed an Isaiah to come to me and give me liberty and bind up my wounds. I'm so thankful for those in my life who inspire and encourage me. Who lift me up. Sometimes they are friends or family but lots of times it is a Christian artist on the radio or the words of an evangelist in a podcast. These people share what they have to glorify God and restore others.

I'm also reminded here that I'm called to be the "resource" for someone else. Because God has given me gladness instead of mourning and praise instead of a faint spirit, I am called to be an "oak of righteousness" for someone else to look upon and see God glorified. It is my anointing to bring the good news to others who are bound, imprisoned, or wounded. That I could be that to someone else in the same way others have been to me is inspiring - it is a call to action. My prayer - "Lord, let not a day go by that I don't share your good news and proclaim liberty to the captives." AMEN.

Let Excitement Reign!

I totally love this blog post. Not actually this one that I'm writing, but the one I'm going to tell you about and link to. I am so in awe of people who are always excited about God and what He is doing in their lives. You know they have bad days and trials just like everyone else, but they choose every morning to get up and praise God anyway. I'm trying to be more like that. To find that relationship with God that gives peace every day.

This post is going to be my example for the day, month, maybe year. Who knows! Enjoy.

Title: I'm Sorry Your Life/Church is So "Normal"!
http://www.perrynoble.com/2011/05/04/im-sorry-your-lifechurch-is-so-normal/

My Cup Is Full but Not Overflowing

Unlike everything else around me that IS overflowing, somehow my words and thoughts haven't been lately. I'm going through a dry spell. God is definitely working in me and blessing me but in the last two months it has been with a very internal purpose. Things that others wouldn't necessarily understand or receive a blessing from hearing or reading.

God IS good. His love DOES endure forever. I'm having to learn about love, growth, change and lots of other hard stuff recently. We were so bless to have Barry Steed from Little Chapel Church (my home church) come and minister to us last night. My heart is overflowing from what was felt in the house of God last night, but I can't put it into words. It comes out in tears or in a smile wider than I've smiled in a long time. I'm sure that seed will bear fruit soon and I'll have something to say but right now all I can say is for everything there is a season and God's timing is perfect. And I'm perfected in Him. And so are you so just hang in there.

I do want to share something from James McDonald that comes at an appropriate time. As Barry said last night, the earth is shaking. All these disasters and all the hardship is painful to even watch, let alone experience. McDonald's "Weekly Walk" article this week was titled, "Will I Get Through This?" I know so many are asking themselves that question today and so many don't have the faith and hope in a savior to give them the comfort that they will. That is what makes me saddest today. So many are lost just beyond our doorstep and our church parking lot. How do we bring them in? How do we love them enough to get out of our recliners and bring the gospel? I'm still searching for these answers. But in the meantime I want to share this article with you at http://www.jamesmacdonald.com/ministries/walk-in-the-word/broadcast/will-i-get-through-this/#divAudioPlaylist-tab . This happens to be the audio version but you can sign-up on his site to receive the weekly email too. I download his podcast to my phone and often listen when I'm exercising. He has some good teaching. Be blessed.

Getting "Radical"

I've shared some about a book we are doing in bible study called, "Satisfy My Thirsty Soul" by Linda Dillow. Well, the same girl that put me on to that book has another one she is reading called "Radical". I've heard others mention it and it sounds great. I'm reading something else right now so it will be a while before I get to it but it is definitely next on the list. Read the post below from her blog and I hope you feel the same passion and encouragement I did when I read it. This mother has a child with a rare skin disorder that is horrible. She has been a blessing to me. http://patriceandmattwilliams.blogspot.com/2011/04/here-we-go-again.html

I Am the Re-Source

I was sitting around just thinking about some things in my life and reflecting a little bit on yesterday's sermon at church and I remembered a message I had heard many months ago. Tim had mentioned in his sermon yesterday that he hears many people make the statement, "Doesn't anyone care about what I think or what I want?"

I'm remembering that today as I'm thinking about some of the things in my life that aren't exactly going as well as I'd hoped. Deep down I know what I want. I know the desires of my heart. I let myself get down and ill sometimes because after all, "doesn't anyone care about what I think or what I want?"

If you've ever been around an adolescent who is being disciplined you know the look and attitude I'm fixing to describe. That attitude that I'm being mistreated because I'm not getting to do or go where I want and no matter what anyone says, or how much sense it makes, I'm just going to be mad and pout. I know you've seen that look. And to those with small children, if you haven't seen it yet, just wait.

It occurred to me this weekend that we must look much like this in our Heavenly Father's eyes. When things don't go our way we pout. We cry out about how it isn't fair and it doesn't make sense. He has given us so much, even our being and yet our only focus is on how we are being mistreated. We've been good. We haven't done anything really wrong. Why can't we have what we want.

As I came to this realization about how I must look to the Father, I must say I was a bit embarrassed. That doesn't mean I won't do it again very soon or that I'm cured forever from being a self-centered, selfish person. It will happen again. But I hope when I see/feel that look on the face of my heart that I'll remember it isn't about me getting what I want.

That leads me to my second thought today, the message I remembered from months back. I was at a worship conference last summer and heard a music minister sharing some words on being the lead worshippers (the phrase they use in place of worship leader). He likened it to a bottle of water. He said to a thirsty person a bottle of water is life giving. It replenishes and cleanses. It is necessary.

I can bring someone a bottle of water and they can be replenished, but I'm not the source of their renewal. I didn't make the water and more than that, the only place I can get the water is from the source. Jesus is the source that the people need. As a Christian, all I can do is bring the source to the one's who need it. I'm a re-source. Just like a bottle, I can run between the source and the need, being filled and poured out over and over again. That is my real job as a Christian. As a believer and disciple, I become a resource to those who have no connection or way to get to the source.

So just as Robert Frost once wrote, "Two roads diverged in a wood," (Thank you Mrs. Spence's English Class), I have ran all over the place in this post. But, I think for me the truth is this - as long as I'm sitting around thinking, "Doesn't anyone care what I want or what I think", I'm missing my chance to be filled and to be a resource. Someone does really care. Jesus cares. And He loves me no matter what path I choose, but to agree with Frost, "I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,


And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Do you have Passion?

I know I have been a long time coming on this post. It seems like February has been a very long month somehow. We've had a lot going on at our house and with the church and time has been in short supply.

I don't have much to share today but I saw a quote in an article by John Maxwell that I really liked. John Maxwell is a leadership expert. His writings can be used in both the business world and the spiritual, church-building world. He quotes the former COO (chief operating officer) of the Ritz Carlton hotel who said,

You are nothing unless it comes from your heart. Passion, caring, really looking to create excellence. If you perform functions only and go to work only to do processes, then you are effectively retired. And it scares me - most people I see, by age 28, are retired... If you go to work only to fulfill the processes and functions then you are a machine. You have to bring passion, commitment and caring - then you are a human being.

The article, which you can find in full text here has much more to do with success in business but I think we can apply this idea of passion to everyting we do in life. Do you have passion for what you do at work? Do you have passion for the role you play at church? Do you have passion for being a parent? Where you volunteer? Scriptures say,

Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:22-24

I've been guilty of slogging through the motions at work, at home, at church, in my marriage, in my friendships, in my parenting...almost everywhere. But I've also had times when I've burned with passion over projects I worked on or services I led worship in. I think the Lord of the harvest wants us to burn for Him. To be filled with passion.

Sometimes we get to a point where the passion is gone. That is when it is easiest to "retire" as the article says. I pray you don't retire. I pray that you seek God and ask Him to fill your life with passion again. Maybe He'll refuel your weary soul. Maybe He'll show you a way to a new job or volunteer position that fires up your soul again. Be on fire for the Lord! Be filled with passion!

Praying and Seeking

In preparation for the worship team retreat where we had a workshop on prayer, I met with the ladies who conducted the prayer workshop. As we were talking, one of them suggested several books on prayer that would be good resources. Since everyone knows I don't like to read, I wasn't sure what to do. I'm already reading, "Satisfy My Thirsty Soul" I thought. There is no way I can pick up another book now. But I wanted to be a little prepared for the retreat, so I thought, "What the heck, maybe I can at least read a few chapters." So I decided to order the book from Inter Library Loan on campus so if I didn't get into it, at least I wouldn't be out any money.

So the book arrived and I began reading. Philip Yancey is the author and it is a book called "Prayer" subtitled "Does It Make Any Difference". ILL doesn't loan books for readers like me. They set deadlines for return within a month of the receiving date and everyone knows I don't read that fast even when I do read. I began reading a few chapters and so far I am really enjoying the book. So when my time ran out I just bought the book on Amazon. I'm almost half-way through and I probably have as many new questions as answers to old ones about prayer.

The author asks a lot of questions like, "If God really cares and really listens, why don't all our prayers get answered." And, "If some of us believe we are predestined then why pray at all. Can we change God's mind?" He raises a lot of questions that frankly have you thinking one minute about giving up on prayer all together and the next thinking you've been doing it wrong for years. I won't say I'm not struggling some with the ideas being presented but if the goal of the author was to make me think and ponder, he definitely has done that well.

I ran across a thought yesterday when I was reading that really made a lot of sense to me. I've gone through times when I've prayed and prayed for direction, answers, movement of the Holy Spirit in a situation and just felt nothing. Completely flat. Dry as a bone. And I've wondered why? Why, if I'm seeking God's will and asking for His direction, doesn't He respond. At least with something. A warm fuzzy or a stomach ache. Something.

In one revealing paragraph I found solace. The author first quotes Augustine who said with regard to the one that prays, "that he himself may be constructed not that God may be instructed." Does prayer construct us? Build us? Shape us into what we are and who we are?

He goes on to say, "I have sometimes found that I get an answer to my persistent request only after I have learned to do without it. The answer then comes as a surprise, an unexpected gift of grace." And here is my favorite part, "I seek the gift, find instead the Giver, and eventually come away with the gift I no longer seek. Asking, seeking and knocking does have an effect on God, as Jesus insists, but it also has a lasting effect on the asker-seeker-knocker."

We pray, not just to have our requests granted or to gain some prize, we pray because that is one way God shapes us and molds us. We've been instructed to do it and regardless of the answers we do or don't receive, we keep on doing it. We keep pressing in. And God uses the time we spend seeking to make us into the disciples He needs.

So don't give up on that prayer. Make your petitions known to God. Go boldly to the throne. The veil has been torn for us, so that we might meet with God face-to-face and have a relationship with Him. Prayer does make a difference.

Centering Prayer

We were very fortunate last week at our worship team retreat to have a workshop on prayer. The ladies that delivered the workshop gave information and showed us how to practice different forms of prayer. One of the types of prayer demonstrated was called Centering Prayer. I guess I should have known about this before but I'd never really heard or seen it demonstrated. Or at least I'd never seen it tagged with this name.

In the Satisfy My Thirsty Soul book I've shared about, the author challenges readers to try something very similar. She doesn't call it centering but calls for us to learn how to "quiet our inner chatter" so we might hear from God. It is very interesting.

So what is centering prayer, you ask? Well, the author of the book suggests that we set aside 20 minutes to focus on God and quietly listen for His response and feel His presence. Have you ever tried to sit quietly and focus on only one thing for 20 minutes before? How about five minutes? This is hard stuff.

The first time I tried this my thoughts went something like this. "God you are so wonderful and good to me. I don't deserver Your...was that the dryer buzzer? What was in there? Oh towels. They can wait. And God I just want to be in your presence and feel your touch...did I remember to put mouth wash on the grocery list? I know I'll forget. Must remember mouth wash. Ok, and God I just want to sit in Your stillness and hear your voice. [5 seconds pass] Is that the refrigerator door? Riley get out of the refrigerator! Grrr." So needless to say in about 60 seconds I really was off to a poor start.

One of the ladies at the retreat offered a nice addition to this practice. She suggested deciding on a word or image that you would come back to when you begin to feel your internal chatter taking over. It might be the visual of you sitting at the feet of Jesus or a word that brings God into focus for you. For me it might be the word "constant". Knowning not only that God is constantly with me but that I want my focus on him to be constant.

I'm not going to say that I have this one down yet by any means, but I will say it is very rewarding and a great blessing. To sit uninterupted in God's presence is a beautiful thing. It brings strength. And I will also say the more I do it, the better I get at turning down the internal chatter. It is like exercising or anything else. Start small. Maybe in your lifestyle a five minute centering prayer would be a miracle. So start there. As you get better at it, you 'll be surprised how fast the time flies.

A World With No Savior

I ran across this in my inbox a few weeks ago and have thought about it a few times. It is a weekly message from James McDonald and it brings forth the idea of "Where Would We Be Without Jesus?"

I don't have a lot to add to what he says about it so I'll link to the article and let you read for yourself, but as hopeless as the world seems sometimes, can you imagine how much more despair we'd feel without the saving grace of Jesus. I mean, talk about hopeless. No light of the world. No comforter in the Holy Spirit. Nothing but judgement and law. No grace. Had Jesus not accepted the cup that was His to bear, our lives would still be...but they'd be much different. A timely message as we consider the birth of our Savior.

OK, I was going to link to it, but I can't find it! So I'll paste the text from, "The Weekly Walk" email I received below. To visit James McDonald's site to to walkintheword.com

Where Would We Be Without Jesus?
"And I saw a strong angel proclaiming with a loud voice, 'Who is worthy to open the scroll and break its seals?' And no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth was able to open the scroll or to look into it, and I began to weep loudly because no one was found worthy to open the scroll or to look into it. And one of the elders said to me, 'Weep no more; behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered, so that He can open the scroll and its seven seals.' " - Revelation 5:2–5

Revelation 5:3 says, "And no one in heaven (no angel) or on earth (no living human being) or under the earth (no dead human being, certainly not Satan) was able (worthy, had the weight) to open the scroll or to look into it." Now if Christmas had never happened, that would be the end of the story.

Take a minute and think about that. How dark would the darkness in this world be without the Light of Christ who is the Word of God? John 1:1 says, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." Jesus is the Living Word of God who tells about the written word of God. Try to imagine if Christ had never come. John 1:14 says, "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory of the only begotten Son of the Father, full of grace and truth."

Back in Revelation 5, John says, "I began to weep" (v. 3). Not a child weeping; kids cry a lot. But an adult weeping at the prospect of being without the revealed Word of God, the Apostle John began to weep - loudly. The word refers to a very intense, bursting forth of unrestrained grief. That's what he felt when he considered the prospect that God's Word would not be known.
Revelation 5:5 “Weep no more; behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered…” (has overcome; that’s a reference to His death and resurrection), so that He can open the scroll."

Jesus Christ, the Living Word of God is the only One who is worthy. Only He has the weight to bring the Word of God to us. Jesus Christ is the Revelation of God's Word to us.
That's why Isaiah 9:2 says this, "The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in the land of deep darkness on them a light shined." Where would we be without Jesus? Just think of it. We would not have the Living Word. We would be without the Light! We would not have the written Word. How dark would be the darkness? Impenetrable. Instead, we have great news: "In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it" (John 1:4–5).

Beating the Holiday Stress (or ANY stress for that matter)

Proverbs 3:5&6: Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

I'm continuing to read Linda Dillow's book as I've referenced before, here and here and here. The current chapter I'm reading, "Bowing My Life," contains some comments the author included from other readers about turning everything over to God. Each set of comments pointed to partial submission, maybe 98%, but still mentioned that bit of control held in reserve should they need to "take care of things themselves".

I tried to examine my life. I'd like to think God has FULL control. I pray about decisions, even minor ones. I look for God's leading and the Holy Spirit to be evident in situations. So do I still hold a reserve of control? Are there still some keys to this life that I haven't turned over?

God is beginning to show me that there are. It isn't really my finances. They belong to Him. It isn't my job or decisions to be made in our home. They belong to Him. So what is it?

It isn't really as much a what, but a feeling. A situation will come along that affects me. Maybe I didn't see it coming and I really didn't cause it but it is there. And when I think about it, my neck gets tense. My mind whirrs (or as Thomas the Train would say, a thought flies into my funnel). I begin to stew, think, problem solve. (This is really hard to explain.) Sometimes I'm even determining how I will make this right, or in certain situations, how will I make the other person realize they are wrong. Yes, I do that sometimes.

But as the mind turns I feel it in my body. I'm taking over. I'm deciding the fate. I'm making the judgements and I'm deciding the outcome. I feel tense. I'm holding some of the keys that belong to God. Left unchecked or unrecognized, this feeling grows into actions - sins. I treat someone badly. I say hurtful things. I let an attitude steal my joy. I let my desires stear the will of God into the wrong direction. I'm beginning to see this.

So how can I fix it? Well, so far I haven't, but I am learning to recognize it. Feel it. And when I feel that tense feeling start in my neck, I stop. Stop thinking. Stop talking. Stop worrying. And I say three little words. ALL THE KEYS.

This is my declaration. This is my prayer to God. This is my stress relief. ALL THE KEYS. As in, all the keys are Yours. I give this situation to You. I release it to You. I will no longer try to weigh it myself. Immediately the tension is released. The mind is calmed just like the waves must have been when Jesus told them to be still. A peace is found.

Do I do it perfectly all the time? No. I let it go too far sometimes and I mourn for the joy I've lost. But I'm getting better at it. And I'm so enjoying the joy that comes from giving God all the keys to my life. Have a blessed Monday.

Tornado Warnings and Sleepless Nights

I don't really have anything profound to add to the scripture I found last week, but it has spoken to me several times. It is itself profound in its message. It puts every other worry or issue to rest. It puts everything in God's hands. It is definitely a hard concept to accept for those of us who like to think we have some level of control, but we don't.

I guess I live according to the second half in some way. I've never bought a weather alert radio or stayed up glued to the tv during a storm. I always felt like God would let me know and if it was my time to go, and no hiding in the bathroom would change that :)

"Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. 2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to those he loves." Ps 127:1-2

God's Glory

To pretend I understand God's glory would be a lie. I read a lot about God's glory...that the heaven's declare it, it can so fill a room that people can't even see, it can leave a group of people, people can worship in it...it has many dimensions. I think in my existence I have probably never experienced God's full glory. Maybe no human can. I'd like to think I've seen or felt glimpses of it. I know that I want to feel, see, experience God's glory but that it requires that so much flesh dies that I fear I may never be able to get to that point.

I was listening this week to a song on the radio. It is a song I've heard a lot of times by a band I'm not really that fond of so I've never really thought a lot about the song. But this week a phrase in the lyric really grabbed my attention and I think it holds real meaning for me at least. The lyric goes, "When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory." Pretty simple line, but these words have become powerful for me.

First, can you imagine that being in God's glory, even a little bit of it, can totally eclipse (blot out, make you forget) all your afflictions? That is huge. Why? Because that is what holds most of us back. We spend so much time worrying, pondering, sulking, wallowing and otherwise focusing all our thoughts and efforts on fixing/dealing with our afflictions.

Then, what if everyday we entered into a moment of worship that brought us so close to God's glory that we could walk out into the day totally focused on God and not our afflictions. What a different group of Christians we could be. Maybe that is how the disciples were able to walk away from their businesses and families and follow Jesus. Most of us would have worried sick about everything going on at home, but I think they were so close to God's glory when they walked with Jesus, that their afflictions were totally eclipsed.

So how do we use this in our lives? Well for me, I've been trying to keep this lyric in my mind. When a situation (or a person as it often seems to happen) begins to put my mind in a place where I feel oppressed, stressed, afflicted or irritated I just remind myself that I would much rather have God's glory than feel this affliction. I remember how much greater it is to be in His presence than to be stressed out by this trivial thing. So far, that has given me much more grace in dealing with tough situations. I'm not saying I don't feel the weight of afflictions, but God's glory is beginning to make that weight feel much lighter. Give it a try.

*Disclaimer - I'm on the road and ran out of time to proofread. I hope there aren't too many typos!

Get This Book!

Ok, I've been reading the book referenced in the last post, "Satisfy My Thirsty Soul" by Linda Dillow and it is WONDERFUL! It is really targeted at women (based on a lot of the examples she gives) but there are quotes and stories from some of her male friends and basically everything in there applys to any child of God.

If you've been looking for a personal bible study or even just a book to read a few pages at a time before you go to sleep, I would definitely recommend it. If you are a women who just feels spiritually tapped and low on joy, this book is for you. If you can't even find five minutes in the course of a day to say a prayer to God, this book will give you some ideas. Check it out!

One of the things the author focuses on in the early chapters of the book is finding quiet time to worship the Lord and get face-to-face with Him. I have always tried to maintain a daily (ok, more like a few days a week probably if you average it out) personal quiet time in the Word and in prayer but I'll be honest, it is HARD TO DO. I don't know if anyone else has experienced this or not, but inevitably someone walks in, the phone rings, the baby is crying, the toddler is whining, the dryer is dinging, you name it and it tries to distract.

When I don't get my quiet time and I'm not able to spend time with the Father, I begin to dry up mentally and spiritually. I just feel like I'm empty and have nothing left to give. Sometimes I don't even want to speak to anyone I feel so devoid of any goodness from God at that point. I think the author of this book gets it. Even the title, "Satisfy My Thirsty Soul" hits is right on the head.

So how can we get filled up again? We've got to spend time alone with God. Praising Him for His goodness, listening for His voice and lingering in His Word. Finding this time is going to become a priority in my life - I can't live well without it. This may mean the baby has to stay at daycare 30 minutes longer, this may mean I have to take a half-day off from work once a month just to renew my spirit, this may mean I have to ask one of my friends from church to watch the baby.

Whatever it takes, this has to become priority. In my past I would have used these methods to find time to get my lawn mowed, go to the grocery or clean out my garage - but now those things are going to move to a lower priority. If I'm going to be a good wife, mother, worship leader, friend, Christian, believer - I have to get my priorities right. I have to move from the Martha mentality of service to God being #1 and become like Mary, putting the relationship with God #1. I'm declaring this to my blog reading friends and would encourage you to examine your relationship - is God your "one thing".

A New Book

I've started reading a new book. It is called "Satisfy My Thirsty Soul for I Am Desperate for Your Presence" by Linda Dillow. So far it is very good and I'm excited to continue with it. It has a bible study guide in the back of the book too.

This book is teaching me how to look deeper into the way I worship to not only glorify God but to enter into a face-to-face intimacy with Him. Well, at least as face-to-face as you can get with the presence of God - we know that no one can look upon the face of God but we can still have those moments where we are so deep in His presence that we feel it is just the two of us and we are CLOSE.

The first chapter of the book talks about the author's quest to find what "intimacy" with God really looks like in the scriptures. She mentions Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus when He was in their home and how she was focused on Him and not all the other things that go on when the Saviour of the World stops by for dinner. She says Mary was focused on the "one thing". She also looks at Psalm 27:4 where David declares the "one thing" that he is searching for.

One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.

Probably the most profound statement the author has made so far comes from her realization that she had it backwards. She had spent her life as a worker for God like many of us have. Thinking that if we just give more time, more effort, more money then eventually that will lead us to a deeper relationship with Jesus. I have done this. I'm probably doing it now. I spend way more time being a worker in the kingdom than a lover of God. So how should it go?

The scriptures say the greatest commandment we have is to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength. This is first. Not love him with our efforts, or our possessions but with our very hearts, minds, being. Are you in love with God? Does just working on your intimate relationship with Him occupy the most of your time and efforts? I can't say yes to this. I spend much more time trying to do things and fix things for the kingdom than I do getting to know the Father.

So how do we begin to find this intimacy? The author says that worship brings us to that place of communion with the Father. David probably shows this better than anyone through his many Psalms of worship. One technique revealed in the book so far is the ABC's of worship.

Begin with the letter A and worship with words in your quiet time that glorify God - "You are Almighty, Amazing and Always there for me" then to B, "You are Blessed and Beautiful to me. Better is one day in your presence than any others", then to C - You get the picture. It is actually a very interesting, and challenging way to worship. If is forcing me to think of the ways I describe God and the wonderful things He does for me. More to come from this book I think, but in the meantime, you might give the ABC's of Worship a try.

Ups and Downs (Mountains and Valleys)

I've been reading in the Psalms for the past couple of months. I think I have read that entire book a couple of times before, but you know how the Word is living, right? And everytime you read it, you hear a new message. And each time the message is deeper and wider than it was before? I love that about the scriptures. It isn't like reading the same story over and over again (or in my case mostly, like watching the same movie over and over again). Every time you read it the story is fresh and new!

But anyway, I've been reading Psalms. Some of the other things I read about leading worship or being lead worshippers is that you should be reading in the Psalms - so I have been. When I read scripture, I try to put myself in the mindset of the author. A large portion of the Psalms was written by David.

Now besides being the youngest son of Jesse, slayer of the giant Philistine, king, musician and songwriter, he was a worshipper. Many of his passages and phrases are embedded in songs we probably sing every Sunday at church. Try these on...

Just from Ps. 8 alone comes "O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!" heard in the song How Majestic Is Your Name. And this opening line from God With Us by MercyMe, "what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?" from verse 4. I Will Call Upon the Lord has strong ties in the first verses of Ps 18. Ps 42 gives us "as the deer panteth for the water." So the Psalms are full of songs written by worshippers.

Obviously, David wrote Psalms like Chapter 18 when he was feeling very thankful and blessed. He says things like, "The Lord is my Rock" and "He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters...He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights." David is feeling very connected to God here I think. He feels like God has been there at every turn to show him the way and that he really trusts God will take care of him. I love this. I want this feeling.

But then you read some of the rest of the Psalms and you hear a very different song. Flip to Psalm Chapter 13 and David says, "How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?" Yikes, major change in perspective. David feels alone, empty, lost. He doesn't know where to go. He doesn't see the path. He feels like his enemies are pressing in on him.

And so David's song goes. A constant up and down. Sometimes he feels like he is on the right road and sometimes he feels like he's lost in the wilderness. Man I can identify with that. We want that constant contact with God but as we see, even with David who was "a man after God's own heart", there are going to be mountains and valleys. Times when God feels far from us. Why? I wish I knew. Maybe we let sin in. Maybe we are the ones walking away. Maybe like the parent who is teaching a child to ride a bike, God just has to take the training wheels off a bit and step back to see if we are going to fall or ride on this time. Whatever the reason, it is a stretching and preparing for something better, bigger. And just like in Psalms 42:5, we will yet praise again!

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." Ps 42:5&6.

7 Hebrew Words for Praise

I was at a conference in July and one of the speakers was Jeff Deyo. He is the former lead singer for SonicFlood and now he tours with his own band and is a fantastic worship leader (or lead worshiper as he would call it). In one of his sessions he commented on the fact that in Hebrew, from which much of the bible was translated, there are a lot of words that ultimately got translated into the word praise. Another way to explain it, the Hebrew had several words that dealt with what we might consider praise, but since we only had one word to translate them too, some of the detail got lost.

This is very interesting to me. As a worshiper and a worship leader, I struggle with what praise to God should/could/would look like. I hear all kinds of opinions - worship should be traditional like it has always been (which really means "always been in my memory"), people should praise in any way they feel comfortable (which usually means as long as I feel comfortable when they do it in my presence) and many more opinions.

I try to go to other churches and see how they praise. I see a huge spectrum of differences from church to church which really makes this idea that there is more than one way to define praise seem believable to me. I am no expert on this but I'm beginning to dig a little deeper into what the word "praise" should really be saying to me when I read it in scriptures.

Jeff Deyo has a couple of podcasts on this topic that are interesting. You can find them here. Here is a summary of the words he talks about:

1.BARAK – baw-rak – To kneel or to bow.
2.YADAH – yaw-daw – To worship with the extended hand.
3.TOWDAH – to-daw – To give worship agreeing with what has been done or will be.
4.ZAMAR – zaw-mar – To worship with instruments.
5.SHABACH – shaw-bakh – To address in a loud tone, a loud adoration, a shout!
6.HALAL – haw-lal – To make a show, to boast; and thus to be (clamorously) foolish; to rave; causatively, to celebrate.
7.TEHILLAH – teh-hil-law – A spontaneous new song. Singing from a melody in your heart by adding words to it.

So I guess when asked is praise raising hands, the answer is Yes. Is it kneeling? Yes. Can it be shouting? Yes. Can it be quiet and reverent? Yes. Can it be crazy and exciting? Yes. It opens up a whole new way to examine yourself and others as you worship. Definitely has me thinking...