Proverbs 3:5&6: Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
I'm continuing to read Linda Dillow's book as I've referenced before, here and here and here. The current chapter I'm reading, "Bowing My Life," contains some comments the author included from other readers about turning everything over to God. Each set of comments pointed to partial submission, maybe 98%, but still mentioned that bit of control held in reserve should they need to "take care of things themselves".
I tried to examine my life. I'd like to think God has FULL control. I pray about decisions, even minor ones. I look for God's leading and the Holy Spirit to be evident in situations. So do I still hold a reserve of control? Are there still some keys to this life that I haven't turned over?
God is beginning to show me that there are. It isn't really my finances. They belong to Him. It isn't my job or decisions to be made in our home. They belong to Him. So what is it?
It isn't really as much a what, but a feeling. A situation will come along that affects me. Maybe I didn't see it coming and I really didn't cause it but it is there. And when I think about it, my neck gets tense. My mind whirrs (or as Thomas the Train would say, a thought flies into my funnel). I begin to stew, think, problem solve. (This is really hard to explain.) Sometimes I'm even determining how I will make this right, or in certain situations, how will I make the other person realize they are wrong. Yes, I do that sometimes.
But as the mind turns I feel it in my body. I'm taking over. I'm deciding the fate. I'm making the judgements and I'm deciding the outcome. I feel tense. I'm holding some of the keys that belong to God. Left unchecked or unrecognized, this feeling grows into actions - sins. I treat someone badly. I say hurtful things. I let an attitude steal my joy. I let my desires stear the will of God into the wrong direction. I'm beginning to see this.
So how can I fix it? Well, so far I haven't, but I am learning to recognize it. Feel it. And when I feel that tense feeling start in my neck, I stop. Stop thinking. Stop talking. Stop worrying. And I say three little words. ALL THE KEYS.
This is my declaration. This is my prayer to God. This is my stress relief. ALL THE KEYS. As in, all the keys are Yours. I give this situation to You. I release it to You. I will no longer try to weigh it myself. Immediately the tension is released. The mind is calmed just like the waves must have been when Jesus told them to be still. A peace is found.
Do I do it perfectly all the time? No. I let it go too far sometimes and I mourn for the joy I've lost. But I'm getting better at it. And I'm so enjoying the joy that comes from giving God all the keys to my life. Have a blessed Monday.
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