Tornado Warnings and Sleepless Nights

I don't really have anything profound to add to the scripture I found last week, but it has spoken to me several times. It is itself profound in its message. It puts every other worry or issue to rest. It puts everything in God's hands. It is definitely a hard concept to accept for those of us who like to think we have some level of control, but we don't.

I guess I live according to the second half in some way. I've never bought a weather alert radio or stayed up glued to the tv during a storm. I always felt like God would let me know and if it was my time to go, and no hiding in the bathroom would change that :)

"Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. 2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to those he loves." Ps 127:1-2

God's Glory

To pretend I understand God's glory would be a lie. I read a lot about God's glory...that the heaven's declare it, it can so fill a room that people can't even see, it can leave a group of people, people can worship in it...it has many dimensions. I think in my existence I have probably never experienced God's full glory. Maybe no human can. I'd like to think I've seen or felt glimpses of it. I know that I want to feel, see, experience God's glory but that it requires that so much flesh dies that I fear I may never be able to get to that point.

I was listening this week to a song on the radio. It is a song I've heard a lot of times by a band I'm not really that fond of so I've never really thought a lot about the song. But this week a phrase in the lyric really grabbed my attention and I think it holds real meaning for me at least. The lyric goes, "When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory." Pretty simple line, but these words have become powerful for me.

First, can you imagine that being in God's glory, even a little bit of it, can totally eclipse (blot out, make you forget) all your afflictions? That is huge. Why? Because that is what holds most of us back. We spend so much time worrying, pondering, sulking, wallowing and otherwise focusing all our thoughts and efforts on fixing/dealing with our afflictions.

Then, what if everyday we entered into a moment of worship that brought us so close to God's glory that we could walk out into the day totally focused on God and not our afflictions. What a different group of Christians we could be. Maybe that is how the disciples were able to walk away from their businesses and families and follow Jesus. Most of us would have worried sick about everything going on at home, but I think they were so close to God's glory when they walked with Jesus, that their afflictions were totally eclipsed.

So how do we use this in our lives? Well for me, I've been trying to keep this lyric in my mind. When a situation (or a person as it often seems to happen) begins to put my mind in a place where I feel oppressed, stressed, afflicted or irritated I just remind myself that I would much rather have God's glory than feel this affliction. I remember how much greater it is to be in His presence than to be stressed out by this trivial thing. So far, that has given me much more grace in dealing with tough situations. I'm not saying I don't feel the weight of afflictions, but God's glory is beginning to make that weight feel much lighter. Give it a try.

*Disclaimer - I'm on the road and ran out of time to proofread. I hope there aren't too many typos!

Get This Book!

Ok, I've been reading the book referenced in the last post, "Satisfy My Thirsty Soul" by Linda Dillow and it is WONDERFUL! It is really targeted at women (based on a lot of the examples she gives) but there are quotes and stories from some of her male friends and basically everything in there applys to any child of God.

If you've been looking for a personal bible study or even just a book to read a few pages at a time before you go to sleep, I would definitely recommend it. If you are a women who just feels spiritually tapped and low on joy, this book is for you. If you can't even find five minutes in the course of a day to say a prayer to God, this book will give you some ideas. Check it out!

One of the things the author focuses on in the early chapters of the book is finding quiet time to worship the Lord and get face-to-face with Him. I have always tried to maintain a daily (ok, more like a few days a week probably if you average it out) personal quiet time in the Word and in prayer but I'll be honest, it is HARD TO DO. I don't know if anyone else has experienced this or not, but inevitably someone walks in, the phone rings, the baby is crying, the toddler is whining, the dryer is dinging, you name it and it tries to distract.

When I don't get my quiet time and I'm not able to spend time with the Father, I begin to dry up mentally and spiritually. I just feel like I'm empty and have nothing left to give. Sometimes I don't even want to speak to anyone I feel so devoid of any goodness from God at that point. I think the author of this book gets it. Even the title, "Satisfy My Thirsty Soul" hits is right on the head.

So how can we get filled up again? We've got to spend time alone with God. Praising Him for His goodness, listening for His voice and lingering in His Word. Finding this time is going to become a priority in my life - I can't live well without it. This may mean the baby has to stay at daycare 30 minutes longer, this may mean I have to take a half-day off from work once a month just to renew my spirit, this may mean I have to ask one of my friends from church to watch the baby.

Whatever it takes, this has to become priority. In my past I would have used these methods to find time to get my lawn mowed, go to the grocery or clean out my garage - but now those things are going to move to a lower priority. If I'm going to be a good wife, mother, worship leader, friend, Christian, believer - I have to get my priorities right. I have to move from the Martha mentality of service to God being #1 and become like Mary, putting the relationship with God #1. I'm declaring this to my blog reading friends and would encourage you to examine your relationship - is God your "one thing".

A New Book

I've started reading a new book. It is called "Satisfy My Thirsty Soul for I Am Desperate for Your Presence" by Linda Dillow. So far it is very good and I'm excited to continue with it. It has a bible study guide in the back of the book too.

This book is teaching me how to look deeper into the way I worship to not only glorify God but to enter into a face-to-face intimacy with Him. Well, at least as face-to-face as you can get with the presence of God - we know that no one can look upon the face of God but we can still have those moments where we are so deep in His presence that we feel it is just the two of us and we are CLOSE.

The first chapter of the book talks about the author's quest to find what "intimacy" with God really looks like in the scriptures. She mentions Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus when He was in their home and how she was focused on Him and not all the other things that go on when the Saviour of the World stops by for dinner. She says Mary was focused on the "one thing". She also looks at Psalm 27:4 where David declares the "one thing" that he is searching for.

One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.

Probably the most profound statement the author has made so far comes from her realization that she had it backwards. She had spent her life as a worker for God like many of us have. Thinking that if we just give more time, more effort, more money then eventually that will lead us to a deeper relationship with Jesus. I have done this. I'm probably doing it now. I spend way more time being a worker in the kingdom than a lover of God. So how should it go?

The scriptures say the greatest commandment we have is to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength. This is first. Not love him with our efforts, or our possessions but with our very hearts, minds, being. Are you in love with God? Does just working on your intimate relationship with Him occupy the most of your time and efforts? I can't say yes to this. I spend much more time trying to do things and fix things for the kingdom than I do getting to know the Father.

So how do we begin to find this intimacy? The author says that worship brings us to that place of communion with the Father. David probably shows this better than anyone through his many Psalms of worship. One technique revealed in the book so far is the ABC's of worship.

Begin with the letter A and worship with words in your quiet time that glorify God - "You are Almighty, Amazing and Always there for me" then to B, "You are Blessed and Beautiful to me. Better is one day in your presence than any others", then to C - You get the picture. It is actually a very interesting, and challenging way to worship. If is forcing me to think of the ways I describe God and the wonderful things He does for me. More to come from this book I think, but in the meantime, you might give the ABC's of Worship a try.

Ups and Downs (Mountains and Valleys)

I've been reading in the Psalms for the past couple of months. I think I have read that entire book a couple of times before, but you know how the Word is living, right? And everytime you read it, you hear a new message. And each time the message is deeper and wider than it was before? I love that about the scriptures. It isn't like reading the same story over and over again (or in my case mostly, like watching the same movie over and over again). Every time you read it the story is fresh and new!

But anyway, I've been reading Psalms. Some of the other things I read about leading worship or being lead worshippers is that you should be reading in the Psalms - so I have been. When I read scripture, I try to put myself in the mindset of the author. A large portion of the Psalms was written by David.

Now besides being the youngest son of Jesse, slayer of the giant Philistine, king, musician and songwriter, he was a worshipper. Many of his passages and phrases are embedded in songs we probably sing every Sunday at church. Try these on...

Just from Ps. 8 alone comes "O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!" heard in the song How Majestic Is Your Name. And this opening line from God With Us by MercyMe, "what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?" from verse 4. I Will Call Upon the Lord has strong ties in the first verses of Ps 18. Ps 42 gives us "as the deer panteth for the water." So the Psalms are full of songs written by worshippers.

Obviously, David wrote Psalms like Chapter 18 when he was feeling very thankful and blessed. He says things like, "The Lord is my Rock" and "He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters...He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights." David is feeling very connected to God here I think. He feels like God has been there at every turn to show him the way and that he really trusts God will take care of him. I love this. I want this feeling.

But then you read some of the rest of the Psalms and you hear a very different song. Flip to Psalm Chapter 13 and David says, "How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?" Yikes, major change in perspective. David feels alone, empty, lost. He doesn't know where to go. He doesn't see the path. He feels like his enemies are pressing in on him.

And so David's song goes. A constant up and down. Sometimes he feels like he is on the right road and sometimes he feels like he's lost in the wilderness. Man I can identify with that. We want that constant contact with God but as we see, even with David who was "a man after God's own heart", there are going to be mountains and valleys. Times when God feels far from us. Why? I wish I knew. Maybe we let sin in. Maybe we are the ones walking away. Maybe like the parent who is teaching a child to ride a bike, God just has to take the training wheels off a bit and step back to see if we are going to fall or ride on this time. Whatever the reason, it is a stretching and preparing for something better, bigger. And just like in Psalms 42:5, we will yet praise again!

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." Ps 42:5&6.

7 Hebrew Words for Praise

I was at a conference in July and one of the speakers was Jeff Deyo. He is the former lead singer for SonicFlood and now he tours with his own band and is a fantastic worship leader (or lead worshiper as he would call it). In one of his sessions he commented on the fact that in Hebrew, from which much of the bible was translated, there are a lot of words that ultimately got translated into the word praise. Another way to explain it, the Hebrew had several words that dealt with what we might consider praise, but since we only had one word to translate them too, some of the detail got lost.

This is very interesting to me. As a worshiper and a worship leader, I struggle with what praise to God should/could/would look like. I hear all kinds of opinions - worship should be traditional like it has always been (which really means "always been in my memory"), people should praise in any way they feel comfortable (which usually means as long as I feel comfortable when they do it in my presence) and many more opinions.

I try to go to other churches and see how they praise. I see a huge spectrum of differences from church to church which really makes this idea that there is more than one way to define praise seem believable to me. I am no expert on this but I'm beginning to dig a little deeper into what the word "praise" should really be saying to me when I read it in scriptures.

Jeff Deyo has a couple of podcasts on this topic that are interesting. You can find them here. Here is a summary of the words he talks about:

1.BARAK – baw-rak – To kneel or to bow.
2.YADAH – yaw-daw – To worship with the extended hand.
3.TOWDAH – to-daw – To give worship agreeing with what has been done or will be.
4.ZAMAR – zaw-mar – To worship with instruments.
5.SHABACH – shaw-bakh – To address in a loud tone, a loud adoration, a shout!
6.HALAL – haw-lal – To make a show, to boast; and thus to be (clamorously) foolish; to rave; causatively, to celebrate.
7.TEHILLAH – teh-hil-law – A spontaneous new song. Singing from a melody in your heart by adding words to it.

So I guess when asked is praise raising hands, the answer is Yes. Is it kneeling? Yes. Can it be shouting? Yes. Can it be quiet and reverent? Yes. Can it be crazy and exciting? Yes. It opens up a whole new way to examine yourself and others as you worship. Definitely has me thinking...

So long self.

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. It just seems like I haven't come across anything blog-worthy in the last few weeks. I wanted to share something I've been thinking about for a while.

Do you ever have those times when you handle a situation and then later in the day or later that night you think, "Man, if I'm really a Christian. If I really love God and His people, why didn't I handle that with more grace and love?" I can't seem to figure out why. I know what the book says and I know what God's heart is for His people, but sometimes I don't find myself having His heart when I have to deal with tough situations.

I've always liked this song by MercyMe. It is called So Long Self. It explains the abandon we need to fully realize John 3:30 that says:

"He must become greater; I must become less."

I've heard some translations that say, "He must increase, I must decrease." So to achieve the kind of Christ-likeness that helps us deal with situations like he would, I think we have to say, "so long self" and abandon our fleshly nature when we aren't in touch situations in hopes that it will bleed over during those tense times. Only when we fall out of love with ourselves can we love like the Father.

Enjoy the video.